Something funny

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Something funny# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to askthe clerk a question. As he turns to go to thefront desk, he accidentally bumps into a womanbeside him and as he does, his elbow goes intoher breast. They are both startled and hesays, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as yourbreast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “ifyour penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room1221.”# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at thebar. “What can I get you?” the bartenderinquires. “I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,”responded the young man. “6 shots?!? Are youcelebrating something?” “Yeah, my firstblowjob.” “Well, in that case, let me give you a7th on the house.” “No offense, sir. But if 6shots won’t get rid of the taste, nothing will.”#7 A businessman boards a flight and is luckyenough to be seated next to an absolutelygorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellosand he notices she is reading a manual aboutsexual statistics. He asks her about it and shereplies, “This is a very interesting book aboutsexual statistics. It identifies that AmericanIndians have the longest average penis andPolish men have the biggest average diameter.By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?” Hecoolly replies, “Tonto Kawalski, nice to meetyou.”# 6 One night, as a couple lay down for bed, thehusband gently taps his wife on the shoulder andstarts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over andsays: “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologistappointment tomorrow kocaeli escort and I want to stayfresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over andtries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls backover and taps his wife again. This time hewhispers in her ear: “Do you have a dentistappointment tomorrow too?”# 5 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had beenemployed there for a number of years when hecame home one day to confess to his wife thathe had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge tostick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wifesuggested that he should see a sex ther****t totalk about it, but Bill indicated that he’d be toembarrassed. He vowed to overcome thecompulsion on his own. One day a few weekslater, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wifecould see at once that something was seriouslywrong. “What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked. “Doyou remember that I told you how I had thistremendous urge to put my penis into the pickleslicer?” “Oh, Bill, you didn’t.” “Yes, I did.” “MyGod, Bill, what happened?” “I got fired.” “No,Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickleslicer?” “Oh…she got fired too.”# 4 A man was visiting his wife in hospital whereshe has been in a c*** for several years. Onthis visit he decides to rub her left breastinstead of just talking to her. On doing this shelets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells thedoctor who says this is a good sign andsuggests he should try rubbing her right breastto see if there is any reaction. kocaeli escort bayan The man goes inand rubs her right breast and this brings amoan. From this, the doctor suggests that theman should go in and try oral sex, saying he willwait outside as it is a personal act and hedoesn’t want the man to be embarrassed. Theman goes in then comes out about five minuteslater, white as a sheet and tells the doctor hiswife is dead. The doctor asks what happened towhich the man replies: “She choked.”# 3A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by hisside. He puts the alligator up on the bar. Heturnsto the astonished patrons.”I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’smouth and place my genitals inside. Then thegatorwill close his mouth for one minute. He’ll thenopenhis mouth and I’ll remove my unit uns**thed. Inreturn for witnessing this spectacle, each of youwill buy me a drink.”The crowd murmured their approval. The manstood upon the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed hisprivates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gatorclosed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After aminute, the man grabbed a beer bottle andrapped thealligator hard on the top of its head. The gatoropened his mouth and the man removed hisgenitalsuns**thed as promised.The crowd cheered and the first of his freedrinkswere delivered. The man stood up again andmadeanother offer.”I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”A hush fell over the crowd.After izmit escort a while, a hand went up in the back of thebar.A woman timidly spoke up.”I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me onthe head with the beer bottle.”# 2A small white guy goes into an elevator, when hegetsin he notices a huge black dude standing next tohim.The big black dude looks down upon the smallwhiteguy and says: “7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inchdick,3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, TurnerBrown”The small white guy faints!!The big black dude picks up the small white guyandbrings him to, slapping his face and shaking himandasks the small white guy.”What’s wrong?”.The small white guy says; “Excuse me but whatdid yousay?”.The big black dude looks down and says “7 foottall,350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3poundright ball, my name is Turner Brown.”The small white guy says, “Thank God, I thoughtyousaid ‘Turn around.'”# 1There was this couple who had been married for50years. They were sitting at the breakfast tableonemorning when the old gentleman said to his wife,”Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50years.””Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years agowewere sitting here at this breakfast table together.””I know,” the old man said, “We were probablysittinghere naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.””Well,” Granny snickered, “What do yousay…shouldwe get naked?”Where upon the two stripped to the buff and satdownat the table.”You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlesslyreplied,”My nipples are as hot for you today astheywere fifty years ago.””I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One’sinyour coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!

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