Ah, Morning Alice

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Brrrrr… Brrrrr…

Brrrrr… Brrrrr…


My brain isn’t functioning at full capacity.

I make a half arsed attempt to open my eyes but the best I can manage is a blurred glimpse of a familiar blanket.

I’m in my own bed!?

This is so disorientating.

I’m hung over as shit, I know that much.

Last night got pretty messy. I recall with relative clarity everything up to the speeches, then it all becomes a bit of a blur.

Despite being a Sunday (bizarrely) my brother’s wedding was a typical scenario of too many distant relatives you seemingly meet for the first time. Too young to remember the last encounters before they drift off into oblivion, only to be referenced from time to time by your parents as though reminiscing another life.

The food was pretty bland, I recall that much. It was only a couple weeks ago at the rehearsal that Barney had huffed something about having to cater the menu to all the allergy snowflakes turning up to mooch food and grog. Ah Barney haha. I never pictured him as the kind of guy to settle down. In our circle of friends, he was always the biggest pig when it came to women. Nobody would’ve bet on him being one of the first to have his switch flicked to ‘domestic’. Of course there was Jacob, but he’d been infatuated with Sarah since primary school and they’d been a couple through most of high school. I mean sure, he might be one of ‘the boys’ mixing it up with the best of us but he doesn’t really count when just as often he and Sarah are off on couple’s retreats, or premieres of movies about sparkly vampire wankers.

“Yawwnnn!” I stretch out, god that feels goo… Huh? My foot brushes something solid and… warm!?

I’m perking up a bit now. Eyes still closed because light is the devil but I’m becoming more aware and awake. I slowly move my foot back to the same spot.

Sure enough, my toe rediscovers the earlier object, it’s definitely warm but soft, how odd.

I’m growing more awake with each passing second but still disorientated.

I slowly inch my foot further over the alien object using my sole to create a better picture in my foggy mind.

It’s familiar somehow.. I edge my foot further down.. It’s… I’m struggling now. It’s…

It’s a fucking leg!

I’m definitely awake now, the disorientation turns to confusion.

My eyes still closed, I bring my arm that’s still above my head, down beside me over the blanket.

My hand now at my waist, I gradually ease it toward the other side of the bed. The blanket ascends, definitely concealing something.

With the tips of my fingers I traverse the blanket to its peak.

I let my palm flatten atop the blanket and slightly squeeze.

An almost inaudible… moan?

I caress the spot, hoping to visualise what i’m touching, who am I touching??

They shift position and it becomes clear that I was feeling a hip, now, a cheek!

My mind is racing now. Who is in my bed? I’m reliving the events of the night earlier. The speeches. I made mine first as best man. It was fairly vulgar but resulted in ample laughter. I conclude with a toast and retake my seat at the bridal table, overlooking the sea of faces. There’s a handful of speeches that follow, all resulting in toasts.

The closest table in front of us is dominated by Linda’s family, all gleaming with pride at their blushing daughter and her new husband. Well, all except one. One has been looking in my direction since the speech. It’s not a mistake, we’re making eye contact every time I glance in their direction.


Back to reality, I realise I’d started to drift off from my current predicament.

At this point I figure the best course of action is to chance a look beside me before I decide further on what to do.

I force an eye open, immediately regretting the decision as the early morning sun blazes into my room amplifying my growing head trauma.

I persevere however and gradually take in my surroundings. The ceiling fan above me comes into focus and despite being off, slowly starts to turn. I really am hungover as shit…

I’m on my back looking straight up, I attempt a side-glance beside me but there’s no distinguishable features.

My breathing becomes irregular. I’m trying to be silent and my stupid brain decides the best way to assist in this is to slow my exhales to the point I now need faster, louder breaths to catch up. Idiot brain..

I turn my head ever so slightly, the moronic breathing causes my heartbeat to appear in my ears, I still can’t see who I’m lying beside.

I continue this slow head movement with renewed purpose, still trying to be as quiet as possible despite the crazy breathing causing my heart to pound louder still, it’s so loud inside my ears now that I’m sure it’s audible out of them.

A mess of hazel coloured hair attacking the pillow next to me starts to come into focus.

My head now completely turned, i realise i’m looking at the back of someone’s head. The blanket is ümraniye escort about shoulder height and I can make out the faint outline of a tattoo on the neck. The features are almost indistinguishable but it’s enough to give me confirmation of who it is.

My breathing is all sorts of fucked up now. There’s a tomtom playing in my ear. Can this be real!?

I’m getting panicky now, what the hell is going on. Why is she here?? How did this happen? I’m in such deep shit.

There’s a cascade of scenarios playing through my mind now, none allude to a positive explanation for my current situation without nefarious methods.

In the midst of contemplating how to fake my own death, there’s movement. I’m suddenly very aware that my hand is still gently massaging her arse. I quickly pull back my hand hoping she won’t notice but it’s too late.

“Ahh, I was enjoying that.”


I attempt words but my mouth and throat are so dry that all I manage is a strange croaking sound. I try again, this time with more success.

“Ah, morning Alice.”

“Hello Mike,” she mutters whilst turning her face into the pillow, pausing momentarily before continuing to now face me.

Her bloodshot eyes slowly open to look at me through the curtain of hair. Mascara has seeped it’s way around her eyelids creating that typical panda look, compliments of an unplanned sleepover; a look I am all too familiar with.

Her eyes close whilst her lips turn into a tired smile. She looks a complete mess and yet, even now, she’s fucking stunning.

She reaches her hand towards my chest, still under the blanket, coming to a rest on my sternum. Doing so causes the blanket to slide further down her shoulders. My eyes hone in on a bit of side boob, those amazing breasts that I’ve fantasized about since I was a tween, are now right here, in my bed beside me.

I realise I’m staring because Alice’s eyes are open again, watching me staring at her boob. I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

She just smiles.

“You can just ask you know.”

“Sorry?” not catching the drift of the comment.

“If you want to see them, just ask. You didn’t have any problems last night,” she laughs.

I’m reminded of the fact that I’m very much in the dark with what she’s referring to.

“I hope I wasn’t too inappropriate last night,” I mutter with alien sincerity.

“Oh darling, you were very inappropriate,” she snickers, smiling even wider. “It was exactly what I needed.”

I feel less guilty now, at least it seems consensual, although I’ve still got no clue as to what occurred.

She closes her eyes again still wearing a faint smile, and we lay silent for a few more moments. I’m so conflicted. On one hand, Alice is beautiful and elegant with a personality to match. She was easily a top contender for wank fantasies between my school mates back in the day but it was her confidence and intellect that put her in a completely different league. I open my eyes to look at her again, this time taking in the full scene so as to commit it to memory. Even now, some ten years later and despite the morning cavewoman hairstyle, she’s still fucking gorgeous.


Brrrrr… Brrrrr…

Brrrrr… Brrrrr…


I’ve been so caught up in this morning’s events that I forgot I was meant to be getting ready for work.

This time I jump out of bed, the panic and confusion of Alice being there quickly replaced with the dread of being late.

Despite the sun though the window, the air outside the blanket chills my skin. No time for a shower or breakfast. I madly search for clothes, jeans on the floor, shirt on the bed head, socks – different colours – who gives a shit, undies – too hard basket, shoes one, oh there’s the other one and I head to the door.

I grab the handle about to exit..


I turn back, Alice is now sitting upright in bed, negotiating the tangled mess that was earlier concealing her face. The image is perfect. As though on purpose, a sliver of Alice-width sunlight frames her like a painting. Her green eyes appear to emit light of their own now, encompassed by mascara-smudged contour.

Arms stretching above her head in another yawn, her amazing tits are out in the open in all their voluptuous glory, large areola almost colour matched to her tender, sweet lips.

“Weren’t you going to say goodbye?”

I manage a weak hearted, “Oh sorry, I didn’t… I’m really late for work.” My heart wasn’t in it though. The image before me was enough to question the merits of why I was even leaving.

“Well you can at least kiss me goodbye,” she said teasingly.

I don’t even hesitate, “Sorry Alice.” I circle back to her side of the bed, still cuddling my bounty of questionably clean clothing.

I lean down to give her a peck on the cheek as was always the custom with Alice but to my suprise, she embraces me tightly and plants her lips on my own, they’re so soft. Although emboldened, I üsküdar escort don’t push for anything more than closed mouthed, I’m sure my morning breath could probably kill her there on the spot. She pulls away slightly and looks me in the eyes. “I hope to see more of this,” as she releases one arm from around my neck.

I assume she means the kiss and am about to respond when I feel her hand grasp around my cock. I just snort and she smiles that brilliant fucking smile.

“S-Sure,” I stammer, in somewhat of a daze. She releases me completely and I march out of the room, dressing as I head towards the front door to leave for work.


“Team meeting!” Wendy calls from down the hall, as I turn into the staff locker room.

Ah yeah, it’s monday isn’t it. Man, I’m still so disoriented after what happened this morning, it feels so surreal. I slept with Alice!?

I mindlessly grab today’s uniform from the mobile coat rack and head to my locker.

The last I heard, she and Dave were living in separate houses but it’s still fucking dangerous. My stomach churns again just thinking about it, the stories about Dave are somewhat legendary. Whilst likely bullshit for the most part, I don’t particularly want to confirm via my own first hand account. I start getting undressed.

Once again I start reliving the events of last night. The speeches…

I recall writing it on and off in the week leading up to the wedding. I particularly relished the part about camping up in the mountains one weekend.

I pull my shoes off and start on the Jeans.

Barney, held up at work, was going to turn up much later than the rest of us and instead of waiting, Linda had decided to travel with me instead. Later we’d learn that it wasn’t actually work that had made him late but the client he’d done a job for that day. ‘This forty something bird’ as he described. She’d had a blocked septic and Barn had discovered tree roots kinking the inward pipe. After a bit of shovel work, he’d managed to free it but it still needed replacing.

I shove everything into my locker and shower myself in deodorant.

After a bit more digging around the pipe, he starts cutting away the section to be replaced, only for all the built-up pressure to explode piss and shit everywhere, over himself especially, haha.

The poor woman had been hanging up washing at the time and watched the events unfold, she was so upset and apologetic.

This wasn’t an uncommon scenario though, according to Barn who then asks the woman to grab a garden hose and spray him down a bit.

This makes her feel even worse but she reluctantly complies and Barn spends the next hour finishing the job in wet clothes.

After checking to ensure everything works, he goes to the door to let her know he’s finished and about to head off but she insists he come inside and shower before leaving and she’d give him some of her son’s clothes to get home in.

Of course, we all know Barn almost always has a bunch of spare clothes in his van as per company policy. Something about always turning up to a job looking presentable, despite how dirty you got at the last one, his boss is a veteran from memory.

So, he ‘reluctantly’ accepts the offer (deviousness in his voice as he says this) and she leads him to the bathroom.

“It’s a weird setup,” he explains. “The bathroom has three entries, one from each bedroom and another from the hall.”

Once inside he strips off and jumps in the shower, it’s one of those bath/shower setups with a curtain.

“I’m just starting to warm up after freezing my arse off for the past hour and I see this shadow outside the curtain,” he describes, slightly laughing.

“I poke my head out the curtain and this bird has brought in dry clothes and started picking up my wet shit off the ground.”

“I figure ‘this is it’ so I open the curtain all the way, hands on hips and in my best Stan voice,” (we laugh at this) “I go, thanks love, you’re a real sweetheart.”


Wendy is standing in the doorway with a concerned look on her face.

“Huh?” I realise I’ve been standing here wearing nothing but a mismatched pair of socks, staring into my locker.

“I didn’t mean… I called out but no answer.” Her face is turning red.

I hadn’t noticed it earlier but my cock is covered in what looks to be lipstick smudges.

I look back up at Wendy who’s still standing in the doorway, looking like she’s having trouble deciding where to look. I make no effort to cover myself, in fact, standing there with Wendy watching me is kind of arousing. I start to get a bit of a tingle behind my neck which gradually rolls down my back causing my cock to twitch slightly.

Wendy seems to notice this because her eyes suddenly fixate on my groin. The redness in her face changes shade and she almost looks like she wants to walk over to me, there’s a yearning in her eyes now.

Abruptly, as though freed from a trance, she regains her composure and anadolu yakası escort looks me in the eyes.

“Hurry up, we’re starting now.”

I close the locker and pick up the hangar holding my uniform to relinquish the shirt.

“Sorry, I’ll be there in a sec.”

She opens her mouth to speak again but reconsiders, half turns to walk out but looks back at me for a moment. It’s almost comical. At last she spins around and disappears from sight. I hear her mutter something but can’t make it out.

They really need to finish these bloody renovations…

Compliments of some sort of pay dispute, the men’s locker room is still a construction site and we’re stuck sharing the women’s. It probably sounds bizarre but having only two guys working here and very rarely at the same time, it wasn’t deemed ‘necessary’ to do more than allocate us a section of the women’s until construction was complete. The showers are still separate and there was a meeting a while back to highlight this fact, probably for legal reasons so the company doesn’t cop a lawsuit. With uniform on at last, I tie my laces and head out to the meeting room.

“Glad you could finally join us, Michael.” Gloria in her best, high pitched, condescending tone as I enter the room. I take a seat at the back of the tiny dungeon-esque excuse for a meeting room.

“Now, as you all know we’re still transitioning rooms four and seven back to usable work areas again. There’s still quite a lot of furniture and linen to find homes for but the plan is to have everything transferred to the new storage rooms by Wednesday, as Thursday we have new tables and lounges arriving. So with that said, I expect you all to use your down time between clients to assist in this.”

Pretty sure I’m not rostered again until Thursday so no doubt by ‘all’, she means ‘me’ seeing as I’m the one who had to carry half the shit into those rooms in the first place…

“Chris, you’ve got a course update to complete this afternoon so please be mindful of the time and come find me if I forget.” She cackles at the end of this, it’s something like if a hyena had smoked two packets of cigarettes a day for the last forty years.

“Michael, you’re in nine with a deluxe after lunch, so please prep the room prior.”

Well it could be worse I suppose, ‘Deluxe’ is code for two hours of full body massage with 45 minutes of scalp and facial, meaning I won’t have Gloria barking orders at me for the whole day.

“Jennifer, you’ve been requested by a, Mrs.Santiago for a group session at ten. I assume you know what’s happening seeing as it was your booking anyway… Blah blah blah…”

I zone out, these meetings are pretty much just the audible version of what we’ve been rostered for anyway. I drift into deep thought again, staring out the room’s only, pokey little window. I start dreaming up scenarios where I encounter Dave again and decide I’m just going to be optimistic about the whole thing, I mean, we’re all adults after all. It’s not like he and Alice are together or anything so surely he wouldn’t get upset about her having a bit of fun. It’s not like I’ve hurt her or anything, she seemed pretty happy this morning.

It’s at this point that I notice Wendy, sitting directly in front of the window I’ve been staring out of. She looks quite nice. Dark chocolate hair with red tips highlight today’s lipstick. She wears a small purple stud in her nose but it’s only for work. Wendy plays guitar in a band and usually dresses pretty punk. Not long after I started working here, she added me on Facegram and I had a stalk through her photos. Her band is pretty popular it seems, she’s always posting about some new gig they’re playing.

I can’t help but see her as the punk rocker from those photos in a leather skirt, torn fishnet stockings and excessively long boots. It’s so polarising compared to the lilac polo and shorts we wear for work. She’s a dainty little thing, barely reaching my chest in height. At a bit over six foot, I guess I am pretty tall though. She’s leaning over the desk, cheek on her palm looking bored with the other arm in her lap. Legs are crossed under the table, shorts riding up her thigh compliments of the seating position. They’re slender and smooth like caramel.

She straightens up in her chair and pushes her arse further into the seat to stretch. I wish I was that fucking seat right now. Her arms reach for the ceiling causing the polo to spread thin over her perky breasts, accentuating her petite figure.

I soon forget about everyone else in the room and imagine having her sitting on my lap instead. As she stretches her arms into the air, she pushes her arse into my groin. My cock is getting hard and begins to nuzzle into the warmth between her cheeks. I place my hands just above her hips and begin to caress her sides, gradually moving around to her firm torso. She places her hands on my own and slowly pulls them up under her breasts while rocking her hips in a subtle back and forth motion over my crotch, my cock swells even more. I slide my hands down to her lap and curl my fingers under the hem of her shirt. As if in agreement, she edges forwards raising her arms and I lift the top over her head. Breasts now exposed, she twists to face me whilst still rocking her hips into my aching shaft. I pull her face to mine and we kiss, venturing into her mouth with my tongue to be rewarded with her own.

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